What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 16:00
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Put me off passion for life!!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Adam Scott, nearly 45 years old, with chance to redefine career on U.S. Open Sunday - NBC Sports
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My family never makes their pension either.
What are some cool confidence hacks?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And i lived it daily.
All the time i was locked up.
I write beautiful poetry .
Why do I feel so tired all the time even after a good night’s sleep?
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I said to her
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I was scared of men, in general
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?
I never cut or harmed myself..
She married twice! .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One cannot live in the past .
Why do I keep waking up at 4 AM?
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She found it foreign!.
He knew the spot.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Are there many people here who suffer from schizophrenia?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Unfortunately For Some, These iPhone & iPad Models Won't Be Getting iOS 26 - SlashGear
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Why did i forgive my father ?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
She wouldn,t have been !
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was 9 years of age.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
We all went to grammer schools
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
But ive been too sick for many years..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But it wasn’t much.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My life is so biszare .
(And it was in our own minds.)
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Would this be the day?
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Comes on , in middle age.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
What did i know ?
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She loved him until the end.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
When she asked me how she looked .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I think the readers, may guess!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
So, i spoilt her more .
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She was in good health!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I waited trembling.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
So whats the point in blame.
He resisted the act ,that day.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
It was going to be , some day.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Ive learnt so much.
I was very sick at this time too.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
As i do to all so called friends.?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I will be 64.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But, we were locked up after school.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Im still living with it.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I was seconnd youngest,
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I have no regrets .
Who then, do I blame.?
This is soul school!.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I don,t even have a pension.
Especially a lifetime of it.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We were not on the streets..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.